“Church Rap”

Sitting in the stands next to my daughter at Mets games, my daughter often entertains me with parodies of at-bat music and songs of her own making.

With outfielder Ryan Church having been traded to the Braves in exchange for Jeff Francouer this weekend, I told her that I could think of no more fitting farewell than to document the “Church Rap”–complete with hand motions that many of us learned as children in Sunday School–that she often performed for me in the stands when Church came up with a big hit.

So, with heartfelt appreciation to a beloved ballplayer and to my gifted daughter for sharing her time and talents, please enjoy “Church Rap”: 

No Brainer: Put Church on the DL already!

head185.jpgI was very disturbed to find out when I opened today’s New York Times that the Mets have perhaps inadvertently done harm to Ryan Church  by putting him in to pinch hit a handful of times since his collision with Atlanta Braves shortstop Yunel Escobar.

Although he was repeatedly asked how he was feeling and claimed he was good-to-go, it appears that having him make the road trip–much less pinch hit–would not have been recommended by medical specialists.

I winced reading that, upon his return home on Sunday, his ears“felt like they were ready to explode.”

Goodness gracious, I know that the guys want to put together some wins–for their sake and for that of their closely-watched manager–but please, let’s not lose perspective here!

Please, Ryan, in the words of Corey Koskie–someone who speaks from experience, it’s not worth it.”

Please stay home, rest, enjoy your wife and newborn, and avoid the light and other painful stimuli.

You don’t want to mess around:  the third time may be a charm. 


Oh…and after you give Koskie a call as he suggested, maybe then give me a call too. 

As a sufferer of frequent migraine headaches, I’d be very interested in knowing the name of your neurologist.

Take care of yourself and be well, Ryan.

Cheerleading for Church

 O.K., you naysayers out there: 

NOW how do you feel about that Lastings Milledge trade?!

cheerleader_outline_graphic copy.jpgPersonally, I’ve been singing the praises of Church and Schneider all season long.  (Not on this blog because of other commitments.)  If there were any remaining doubts in anyone’s mind as to the positive impact these two have made on the team, last night’s game–despite Milledge’s impressive catch–should’ve dispelled those.

Omar Minaya’s prescient decision of this past fall continues to pay huge dividends, game after game.

As for the distraction of the rhythmic cheering and chantingin the manner of “softball girls”–emanating from the visitors’ dugout in the previous evening’s game, I have a few cheers of my own that I would gladly chant at Lastings Milledge, Elijah Dukes (only at a safe distance), et al., given the chance: 

 We’ve got Schneider,

Yes, we do!

We’ve got Schneider,

And CHURCH too!!

cheerleader copy.jpgMaybe Cowbell Man could back me up on this one:  

cheer003.gifRyan, Ryan, he’s our man!

If he can’t catch it, NO ONE can! 


Perhaps not one to fire up the crowd per se, but it does mention another player:

One, two, three, four

RBIs, we want some more!

Five, six, seven, eight

Church on deck, we’re lookin’ great!

Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve

T’morrow we’ll be pitchin’ Pelf!



Or, there’s always this standby, guaranteed to immediately silence the opposition:

We want a pitcher

Not a glass of water!


Feel free to add your own! 

You–and the Mets dugout–can check out this website if you need inspiration to help you get started: